Q. How do you get a bass player off of your porch?
A. Pay him for the pizza.
Q. What do you say to a bass player in a three-piece suit?
A. "Defendent, please rise."
Q. What's the difference between a bass player and a large pizza?
A. A large pizza can feed a family of four.
Q. What's the difference between a bass player and a savings bond?
A. A savings bond will be worth something someday.